There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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