Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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