HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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