i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have tasted many bathrooms
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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