I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
