I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
