dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
