the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
