Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Couch. On fire.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
