I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
