How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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