I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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