you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
