And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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