he shaved USA in his pubs
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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