better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
