yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
