Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize