Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
