There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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