oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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