just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
All I want is dick and wine.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
