I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize