I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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