Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
