only if we run a train.
done.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
