"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
