there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
