Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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