You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My breasts were aching with rage.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
