She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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