Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
