i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
