I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
