belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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