you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Congratulations! We have a period
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