it glows. i had to have it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
