you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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