The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so that wasnt chicken after all
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
