Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
