I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
