Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
