Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Randomize
