waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
