So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
