one two three fourrrrnication!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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