If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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