She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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