Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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