38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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