So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Found your dick twin last night
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
