Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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