i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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