Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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