I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How does one acquire holy water?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
