Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
