well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
