If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The adults are the big ones right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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