Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my shit smells like andre
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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