He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
