There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
porn star boner night. come get it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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